A Long Hiatus

"The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world."
~ Georgia Harkness (Christian Theologian).

After confirmation, there was what I refer to as a "religious silence" for a long period of time. As mentioned, the parental expectation of attending church regularly lessened and as a family, we gradually drifted towards "C & E" status. With the pressure of being forced to believe in god off of me, my incessant questioning ceased and I simply stopping thinking about it so damn hard. Somewhere within that, within that time where I could reflect on my own thoughts without the influence or burden of adult judgement and persuasion, I found comfort in believing that there just might be something out there bigger than the rest of us. That there might be someone or something that watched over us and cared about our existence and success. Over time, I came to the conclusion that it was, in fact, easier to not think about it and to "just simply believe." Arriving at this place was not momentous at the time (as many things of that nature are not for teenagers); however, reflecting upon it at certain times later in life forced me to explore how significant simply believing was. A lot of frontal lobe development was necessary for such critical thinking.

After that, when I went to church, I prayed. If grace was being said around the supper table, I participated. And sometimes, in my head, I had conversations with who-knows-what that started out with,"dear god..." It did not feel symbolic, nor did it feel consequential. It just was. It was what my family did and what I did and what many of the people I grew up with did. As an adult, I do not regret this time; rather, I am happy for it. And, I am happy for the times that came after it where I was more devout, as it served to strengthen me. And, at present, I grateful that I am now in a different place, where I understand these things on a level that did not exist before.

"It's evolution baby."

Confirmation....Of What Exactly??

"If it were proven that there is no God there would be no religion....But also if it were proven that there is a God, there would be no religion." ~ Ursula K. Le Guin (American Author, Poet)

I didn't say the words. This is the first time I've ever disclosed that information; although I realize that this is not the same as disclosing, for example, where the Lindbergh Baby was.....it's still significant to me. The religious, traditional ceremony of becoming confirmed into the catholic church requires the young person to repeat certain phrases under the direction of the priest (e.g. he says it, you say it). I didn't say the words. I didn't want to get confirmed and my parents (by which I mean my mother), in their infinite wisdom demanded that I get confirmed. So, I did. It wasn't like the other aspects of my life that I stood fast by - like the idiots I wanted to date, or a particular set of pot smoking friends I wanted to associate with. The important stuff. But, it was important enough to me that I didn't say the words - no one could control that.

This decision was greatly influenced by my equally inquisitive friend who was mentioned in a previous post. He rebelled enough that his parents couldn't make him go to the confirmation ceremony and, even though I wasn't ready for an act of rebellion this big, not saying the words was the most I could conjure up at the time. I remember standing up in the church, alongside of all my childhood friends who had been with me in Sunday school and the ongoing years of catechism classes. They all said the words. I wonder if they believed in them or if they were saying them mindlessly? I have no idea.....church and faith weren't topics we teenagers discussed outside of complaining about having to go. And I complained a lot - mostly to my parents who continued to insist we attend church on Saturday evenings. Who the hell attends church on Saturday evenings? If I was going to be forced to go, could we have not at least attended on Sunday mornings like other normal people? Apparently not.

After the confirmation ceremony I did not feel any different, but I chalked that up to not saying the magical words that officially gave me the invisible stamp of approval from the catholic church. However, my friends didn't appear to feel or look any different either - and they had said the magical words. Weird. I don't remember any of them talking about feeling the hand of god placed upon their shoulder or experiencing a transformation of any kind that would suggest that they were no longer mere humans but part of something holy and bigger than me. What this confirmed for me was that whether or not you said the words, it was likely that nothing significant changed, or may be this is what I wanted to believe so that I could validate my own experience. What did change was the demand placed on my sister and I to attend church after that point, which made getting confirmed kinda worth it. There was a shift at some point where I remember my parents attendance at church slowly changing, eventually leading to us becoming what is known as "C & E's," Christmas and Easter church attender's. Those were the two religious holidays that needed to be honored by attending church in my household - and that was fine by me.

Frustrated Teachers. Frustrated Me.

"The great end in religious instruction, is not to stamp our minds upon the young, but to stir up their own; not to make them see with our eyes, but to look inquiringly and steadily with their own; not to give them a definite amount of knowledge, but to inspire a fervent love of truth; not to form an outward regularity, but to touch inward springs; not to bind them by ineradicable prejudices to our particular sect of peculiar notions, but to prepare them for the impartial, conscientious judging of whatever subjects may be offered to their decision; not to burden memory, but to quicken and strengthen the power of thought." ~ William Ellery Channing (American Moralist and Clergyman 1780-1842)

It might be notable to begin with the clarification that the people teaching me catechism were not actually teachers - meaning they did not possess a teaching degree. They were mere humans from my congregation who made a commitment to the church to provide religious instruction to a bunch of teenagers who could not care less. I commend them on their bravery in this aspect as I presently work with teenagers and know they aren't the best audience unless some underage troubled kid is singing on a stage complete with a laser show. In looking back, I can now see through my adult eyes that it would have been easy to perceive me as an asshole rather than a curious kid, as my delivery wasn't always the greatest. There were parts of me that got great enjoyment out of asking questions that they did not have tangible answers to; however, there was also a part of me that was longing for someone to provide me with something that I wasn't getting.

As the teachings progressed through the old to new testament, I was unable to fathom how I was expected to take these teachings literally. The idea of believing, in literal fact, that the universe was created in seven days, that Adam and Eve existed and created all man and woman kind, that Mary and Joseph birthed a son - the savior off all mankind - who was the child of God, that there was a great flood that wiped out of the Earth - save for the animals that were gathered two by two and placed on an ark. My favourite questions in catechism class undoubtedly were: "but what about this.....????" and, "but there's no evidence to prove this.....????" Again, in this environment, the standard notation was the same: "it's simply faith.....you just need to believe." Apparently, I wasn't that faithful.

Further confusion emerged as I began to enter into the beginning stages of my critical analysis of the hypocrisy presented in the bible. During my teenage years, these skills were not as fine tuned as they eventually developed to be; however, they were nonetheless developing in catechism class. I did not understand how god, a supreme being of kindness and love, could assert that he loved everyone - except for certain people. I did not understand how the place called hell existed if all sins were forgiven. I did not understand how an all-loving god could leave souls in purgatory for all eternity or why wars, famine, poverty and violence existed despite his watchful gaze. How could something be true when it was contradicted within the very verse it was written in?

As I sat back and observed the other teenagers in my class, it astounded me that few of them seemed to share in my confusion. I'm not sure whether their seeming ambivalence towards the subject was just that...ambivalence, or if they simply accepted these teachings as the word of god in the same way they had once believed in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. To me, believing in all of this god business was not an option at the time - it was just what you did. However, Santa had in fact turned out to be a legendary, mythical, folkloric symbol.....so, could god not turn out to be the same?

It amuses me that this might be another great example of that concept I mentioned a few entries ago.....foreshadowing, as my views about religion and god (and Santa, for that matter) have evolved to include concepts such as the moralization of civilization and social control. But, at the time, my underdeveloped frontal lobe was not processing on that deep of a level. Combined with the fact that I had recently discovered marijuana, my brain certainly wasn't working at 100%.

The Beginning of the End of Obligatory Religious Ceremonial Formalities

"Faith is believing in what you know ain't so. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad. If there is a God, he's a malign thug." ~ Samuel Clemens (Author, Mark Twain).

I entered back into the good graces of Sunday school after completing my 8th grade at private, Catholic school. After begging my mother for two years to place me back into the public education system, she conceded, and - no longer in a religious environment - I was back to the mundane teachings of mere humans once a week. I guess this would have been when I was 14, in grade 9 at a junior high school that was located down the street from my house. In Nova Scotia, kids attend elementary school (grades 1-6), junior high (grades 7-9), and high school (grades 10-12). Once in high school, the obligation to attend religious teachings of any kind ends as you get confirmed into the Catholic church prior to completing grade 9. And presto! The Catholic church owns you....or something like that.

When Catholic children are in grade 2 they participate in something called their First Communion. This is a traditional ceremony where children experience their first confession, which is then followed by their first experience of taking the Catholic Sacrament of Holy Communion. For those of you unfamiliar with holy communion, it is the ceremonial process where a priest does something called transubstantiation. This very fancy word defines a process in which a priest turns ordinary bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ. In turn, Catholics then eat and drink the bread/body and wine/blood during mass. It's a big deal. When you are little, you attend Sunday school to prepare for this event, in part by coloring pictures (as mentioned before). However, when this big day arrives it is viewed as a rite of passage for children in their journey to becoming part of the Catholic church and faith. Little girls often dress up in gowns that look like miniature bridal dresses (with veils) and little boys often dress up in miniature suits (with ties).

As I type this out, I realize how odd this ceremony might sound to someone who is unfamiliar with Christian traditions and practices; however, in grade 2 this was all very exciting. In reality, it was really all that I knew and, because it caused me no harm and because my friends were all taking part in the same things as me, it just made sense. I went to church every Sunday without thinking about it. I went to Catechism classes every Tuesday evening without thinking about those either. It wasn't until I got older that I started to question things and my 14th year was noteworthy in terms of my attempts to critically analyze what I was learning about the Catholic faith. I chose to play out this critical analysis in catechism class, along with my best friend at the time.

We had been best friends since kindergarten where I distinctly remember us playing together in the sandbox. I also clearly remember crying my eyes out every time he wasn't there, which - when we were older - he loved to tease me about. The first time we got into trouble together, we were about eight or nine. I was spending time at his house and my mother came to pick me up and instead of getting ready to leave - as instructed - we took the opportunity to take off on my friend's bike (complete with an awesome yellow banana seat) so that I could stay longer. After calling out to us for over an hour, my mother eventually surrendered to the fact that we were not coming back anytime soon and sat to have tea with the other frustrated mother. If you recall, one of my earlier posts mentions something called foreshadowing - this would be another example. We were great friends who were not the best of influences on one another. My mother was always scared that I would grow up and marry him someday, which - in her opinion - could produce nothing but a possible jail sentence for both of us. In the event that we had ever gone to jail (which we did not), I'm quite certain that we would have found a way to escape together. Our friendship was built on thoughts of escaping that developed late in the night as we lay on cool asphalt under glowing street lights. We understood each other with a depth that still exists today, in our 33rd year, despite the fact that we have not laid eyes upon each other in many years. We were little shits. I am quite sure our catechism teachers thought the same in that grade 9 year.

Catholic School: How Did I End up Here? (The End, aka: finally, this particular narrative has ended)

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."
~ Albert Einstein (Theoretical Physicist)

I don't think my parents had hopes of turning me into a religious enthusiast by compelling me to attend private, Catholic school. It's my impression that they were far more inspired by the prospect of me having a better education than producing a better Catholic. I guess I could say the Catholic aspect was a mere fringe benefit of the whole endeavour. And, in reality - did the Catholic conditions scar me for life? Absolutely not. I will say that, overall, it didn't help with matters in the mind of a curiously confused grade 7/8 student. In all honesty, I think my questioning was, in part, an attempt at active defiance - towards the school, towards my parents. In my case, this is what we would call foreshadowing. But, this wasn't entirely it.

As a small child being raised in the Catholic church, I did believe - most kids do. Little ones don't have the ability to critically analyze information, which is why they love unconditionally. I loved my parents unconditionally and, therefore, believed in everything they said. This included Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and God. My parents knew EVERYTHING, right? I mean, if Santa watched me all year round with his rather judgemental eye, it wasn't terribly far fetched to believe that a spirit in the sky did the same. But, it wasn't quite the same. Of course, by my ripe old age of 12-13, long gone were the days of believing in Santa. And, what about that? My parents had, in fact, lied about Santa - and all those other characters who brought candy and toys and financial donations. The time of these discoveries was acutely perplexing and I distinctly remember the day I detected the remarkable similarity between my mom's handwriting and Santa's. At that moment, not only did I know that parents knew EVERYTHING, I also knew they lied. About things of catastrophic importance. To say that this had an impact on my likelihood or ability to believe in my parents word would be a gigantic stretch; however, it did enlighten me to the idea that there were questions begging to be asked about a lot of things that I had been taking for granted.

(I would just like to note that I had a sister that was older than me by five years who never revealed the fact that Santa - or any other fictitious character - was not real out of spite or disdain towards my existence. I've always thought that was pretty incredible).

If I once thought that parents or nuns could answer my questions, these thoughts were quickly dispelled as I got older. Attending Catholic school was the beginning of this realization by simple fact that I had nuns and Jesus's on crosses around me on a daily basis. So, when I look back, I can say with certainty that being educated in a Catholic school environment had zero impact my understanding of the Catholic religion or myself as a Catholic (just in case there are parents reading this who are considering sending their child to Catholic school, purely for the betterment of their understanding of Catholicism). The only (unfortunate) thing my experience in private, Catholic school impressed upon me was a disinclination towards liking and doing well in school.

What a let down.

Catholic School: How Did I End up Here? (Pt. 3)

"I am an atheist, and that is it. I believe there's nothing we can know except that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for people." ~ Katharine Hepburn (American actress)

"It's simply faith....you just need to believe." I wonder how many kids, either from my generation or the kids of today, would accept this as an answer. I mean, it's not like I was asking when the next bus was coming - I was asking how the world was created and how humans came into existence!! In my mind (both past and present), questions like these need to be answered with more depth than a simple faith-based, Creationist perspective on life; however, this might have been be a tall order for a Catholic nun to fill at the time.

As most of us know, the basic concepts and premises of most religions of the world have fundamental differences and similarities. As part of today's blog, I wanted to examine the differences between two religions that have gained enormous popularity over the past 2000 years (one more recent than the other)......

I. Scientology: billions of years ago, a galactic overlord named Xenu needed to control overpopulation. So, he gathered up all his enemies and froze them. Then they were packed into spaceships, flown to volcanoes in Hawaii (and other places on Earth), where they were hit with nuclear bombs. Then, the spaceships vacuumed up all the dead alien souls and took them to a movie theater, forcing them to watch violent and confusing movies until they forgot who they were. These souls wandered off, clumped together, and landed in people. These are called Thetans. People need to get rid of these Thetans and, therefore, engage in different spiritual practices to accomplish this. In doing so, people live a better, more spiritual life with a clear mind and heart. That's the basics.

II. Catholicism: just over 2000 years ago, two people named Mary and Joseph birthed a son through immaculate conception. Mary was impregnated by a spiritual being that lived in the sky, beyond the clouds, in a place called Heaven. The baby produced by this pregnancy, a boy named Jesus, was born as the saviour of the entire world - as well as a carpenter. His purpose was to spread the word of God, his father (spiritual being in Heaven) and to save the people of the world from their sins by dying an excruciating death. All people were considered to be sinners, as people are born with "original sin" (the sin that occurs when the baby's parents had sex in order to create them). If these sins (and other sins) are not confessed and forgiven by God, people will burn in a terrible place called Hell, which is ruled by a very scary and evil spirit named Satan, for the rest of eternity. Jesus is said to be returning to Earth (called the Second Coming of Christ) at an unknown time and place, to judge the living and dead for their sins. This day will be called "Judgement Day." When Judgement Day occurs, the entire world will be destroyed and, as the inhabitants of Earth, we will know this day is coming because there will be fires, floods, hurricanes, resurrections of the dead, and the Second Coming of Christ. That's the basics.

As a grade 7 student, I distinctly remember thinking, "wait a minute....what???" as I was introduced to a higher level of learning around the Catholic faith (similar to the time I went to "mass" at the Church of Scientology when I was 27....wow). Now, as an adult, the idea that young people would not be encouraged to question these stories is absolutely preposterous to me. But, that's me. I also clearly remember being totally confused about the story of Creation because it just didn't make sense to me. How woman was made out of the rib of man, how a talking snake warned this man and woman about not eating apples from a specific tree, how when they ate the apples they suddenly realized they were naked and this was problematic, how a spiritual being called God made everything in the world in seven days and nights. How. How. How.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: if you are going to ask people to believe in stories as ridiculous as these, some questioning should be encouraged, whereas "blind faith" might be discouraged. Now, I am declaring these stories to be slightly ridiculous from the following perspective - if I was to land on Earth, not knowing anything about religion and these stories were passed on to me, what would I think? Ridiculous. However, I am noting that perspective from a 33-year old mindset; I don't remember thinking it was ridiculous in grade 7....I just remember being confused and not having my questions answered in a way that made me less confused. In fact, it made me more confused.

Ultimately, the most confusing aspect of this entire business was that my teacher, a woman married to god, didn't have the answers. As I've grown older I've come to realize that no one does - not my mother, father, mentor or priest. If I was to ask any one of these people, "how is it possible that a woman came to be made out of a man's rib" (particularly given the scientific fact of evolution), the answer would be simple: it just is. That's where faith comes in, I guess.

FAITH (n):
1. Confident belief in the truth, value or trustworthiness of person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing.
4. Often faith Christianity The theological virtue defined secure belief in god and a trusting acceptance of god's will.

My teacher had faith. For sure. She did not, however, instill faith in me.

Catholic School: How Did I End up Here? (Pt. 2)

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." ~ Dalai Lama (Buddhist Leader)

Notice how the kid in this cartoon is standing under the sign saying "public," whereas the adult figure - likely a mother who is over-reacting - is standing under the "private" sign. This is a good depiction of how this all played out in my family. I guess for this to be illustrated more accurately, the sign would actually read: "private, Catholic" but, that was impossible to find.

After eventually resigning to the fact that I was powerless over my mother's rash decision to send me to a different school - a school with no boys - a school where I knew no one - I ultimately opened myself up to this curious and somewhat dreadful educational experience. And, I hated it - have I mentioned that before?? Now, I could explain all the differences, all the experiences, all the memories; however, that would cause the Catholic School: How Did I End up Here dialogue to be endless in length. And so, for your reading pleasure, I will stick to the more interesting and amusing aspects of this particular adventure.

I would like to open with the following statement: if I was once a kid who things came easily to in terms of my academics, I was a dumb ass in private school. For example, the public education system began lessons in French in grade 4, whereas this particular school started them in grade 2. This was the same for most subjects including grammar, which was not something that was focused on in public school in the elementary school years (grade 6 and under). Concepts in math were far more advanced than my lowly public school education ever offered and, where the girls who surrounded me excelled in most academic areas, I fell behind in my classes quite quickly. That really pissed me off. I think this was one of the catalysts behind my behavioural downwards spiral that began that year, which likely contributed to my thinking that I could establish myself within the hierarchy by being different and disobedient, as opposed to smart. Figuring out this particular golden nugget took years of expensive therapy well into my adulthood.

Being the curious kid that I was, being forced to take a religion course in school was a novel idea to me and I remember being excited to learn about the different religions of the world. Until that point, I was struggling to see how wearing a uniform and having a boy-less existence contributed to my upbringing as a Catholic, but this - a religion class - would bring it all together for me. I anticipated learning about unconventional religious practices and rituals that developed in countries I had never even heard of. I was wrong and that pissed me off too. Within the grade 7 and 8 curriculum, the only religion explored in religion class was Catholicism. The course consisted of a bible study lead by one of the only remaining nuns teaching at the school, who oddly enough also taught health class (called CORE for some unknown reason). In case you are a visual person - she did not wear a habit. As an adult, I can now reflect on the irony of the fact that only Catholicism was taught in that religion class and I guess this falls in line with the first commandment that states: you shall have no other gods before me. Still, in my 13 year old brain it was bizarre that an entire course dedicated to religion would only explore one religion, but, what did I know? I guess it was no more odd than the fact that our health class (CORE), which was supposed to teach us something about sex - well, the Catholic version of that particular topic - generally focused on hygiene. I specially remember being told that I didn't really need to wash my body because the shampoo from washing my hair would take care of it. Again, my adult brain now understands that this was likely suggested in hopes of us avoiding touching our bodies in a manner that could be considered ungodly, which today strikes me as very amusing.

And so it began, the opportunity for all of my questions regarding faith and the bible and god to come forward to be answered by an expert: a nun. Someone not only married to god, but who dedicated some of her life teaching at a Catholic school for young girls. Brilliant. To my surprise, these questions were about as well received as they were to be in my ninth grade catechism class, where - as mentioned previously - my teachers would sigh in frustration as the questions would begin. This was surprising in the simple fact that, as a nun, my perception was that she would be all loving and all knowing, as god himself was supposed to be. I didn't expect the same from my catechism teachers - they were mere humans from my congregation, not people of god. Yet I found myself having similar experiences in religion class, where I was provided with nonsensical answers like, "it's simply faith, you just need to believe."

Catholic School: How Did I End up Here? (Pt. 1)

"I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god - I really tried. I really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, who loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize.....something is FUCKED UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong." ~George Carlin (American comedian, social critic, actor, author)

Grade seven and eight. Pivotal years in the life of a young person - years where you are developing your identity and forming lifelong friendships. Two years where I was removed from everything and everyone I knew since Kindergarten. Talk about a horrifying experience for a girl just entering into her teens and, not only was I moved to a different school in a different town, it was an all-girls Catholic school. WTF (when I was a teenager, WTF hadn't entered into pop culture - we simply would have said the entire sentence).

My older sister was pretty much a fantastically good kid when we were younger (and the coolest big sister ever, as I remember it). And, not "good" in the "goodie two-shoes" kinda way; she was simply a good person, a good sister. But, she began to experience some minor academic struggles in her Jr. High years. I was the kid who things came easily to; I didn't have to study much and I generally did well in school with very little effort (except in math, in that area I was a dummy). My sister's had to try a little harder and this became evident when she was in grade 9 in the public school system. Grade 9 is a difficult academic year for a lot of kids, as you are preparing to learn more difficult concepts in high school, and my sister was challenged in her ninth year at school.

Here's where the confusing part comes in: somehow, my sister's experiences in school translated into my parents deciding to put ME in private school, where I could get a "better education." Now, I wasn't having any difficulties in school - academically or socially - so it would have made sense to me (and probably my sister, who eventually attended the same school I did and flourished) that my parents would leave me where I was to invest extra money and time into helping my sister. However, for some reason in my grade 7 year, I found myself as the "new kid" at school and my sister continued to attend public school where she also continued to struggle. Go figure.

And, I hated it. In the summer after the completion of grade 6, I was contacted by a girl who attended the school I would be going to in the coming Fall. She had been a student there since she started Kindergarten at the age four and, therefore, had been assigned to be an "angel" to new girls arriving at the school. Basically, her role was to be your friend and to show you the ropes when the school year started, which struck me as an odd gesture. A forced friend. Weird. However, this did come in handy in terms of "learning the ropes," as Catholic school turned out to be much different than public school. Some of these differences included uniforms, morning prayers, religion class, and a girl running up and down the halls - swinging a bell - to indicate the change in classes (as opposed to the "normal" intercom system I was accustomed to). Over time, the bell actually grew on me - as did other aspects of school; however, I never knew that there were parts that I enjoyed until I was old enough to appreciate the experience. Given this, I hated it.

Genesis: The Beginning Started With Coloring

"What if humans are here by pure random chance? What if there is no guiding hand, no external regulation, no one watching? It is clearly possible that this may be true. In fact, this is what our scientific evidence is pointing towards. But what if it were true - what would that mean?" ~ Julia Sweeney (American actress, comedian, author)

I'm going to start of by saying something that wouldn't be considered very "PC" amongst most Christian folks out there - at least those of which do not possess a sense of humour - according to Genesis, God was a very busy guy in those first days of life and the creation of everything in existence. And this Genesis business - it continues on for pages and pages, totaling 50 chapters in all and resulting in the creation of the earth and all its inhabitants.

According to the bible, I too was created in this manner, in God's likeness, I suppose. I don't feel as if I was created in the likeness of anyone but my mother and father and, even some of these "likenesses" I would get rid of if I had the opportunity. So, how did this whole God/Catholic thing enter into my life? I imagine it's the same way for most of us: we are conceived and born, leaving our parents to decided what religion we will be affiliated with. This occurs without our input, obviously, and in my experience this continued on for many years with very little of my input. As many children that I grew up with, I was baptised in the Catholic church and then proceeded to go on to my first communion and my eventual confirmation. I attended weekly catechism (Sunday school) in preparation for these events for 10 years -10 YEARS!! That, in my estimation, is a gigantic number of Sunday's. Even when compared to the education system, which lasts 12 years in duration, this seems like an impossible number of Sunday's.

What I remember most about attending church as a child is coloring. Coloring and knelling on the floor to use the pew in front of me as a table in order to color. So, all in all, my early memories of attending church are rather benign. What I remember most about attending catechism is that my mother taught it for awhile, and that it also involved a lot of coloring. Why did we color so much? I distinctly remember the coloring pages being biblical pictures of some sort, generally involving lambs and a bearded guy in a dress holding a stick that was rounded on top. I remember being told the guy was Jesus and that he was watching over his flock. I wonder, did the Sunday school organizers think that we children would learn to like or get to know Jesus through coloring him on pages, as we did with superheros and Sunday morning cartoon characters (who we did, indeed, love)? May be it did work....come to think of it, I don't recall having any feelings of ill-will towards Jesus as a child, quite the opposite in fact. In knowing myself now, I suspect that I likely thought that Jesus was an eccentric man with a kind, but sad face, who was an animal lover.

But, how did The Beginning or the story of Creation link to my beginning? And, did it link to my beginning as a Catholic or as a human being? These questions did not evolve in my mind until I was a teenager, preparing for my confirmation, which in the Catholic religion is a very important event in the life of a young person. These were troubling Sunday's for me as I was being taught something that didn't make sense to my 14-year-old brain. These were also troubling Sunday's for my catechism teacher, who would literally let out a sigh of frustration when my questions would begin. What can I say, I'm a naturally curious individual...to the point of my own detriment at times.

www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Genesis-Chapter-1/